I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
