Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
