Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
