Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
