Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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