My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize