love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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