its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
false alarm. still invincible.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
