Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
