Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize