R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
