Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
