At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
