I think I am morally bankrupt
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
