Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
false alarm, still single
Randomize
