They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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