I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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