I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you inspire me to be a worse person
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
