i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
