yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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