when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
