if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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