No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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