that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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