I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
