And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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