the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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