ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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