i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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