Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
