I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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