Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize