I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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