Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
