brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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