she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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