I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
