You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
she peed on how many people?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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