is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
