Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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