your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
