3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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