kristin has been a bad kristin
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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