She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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