ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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