I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
