i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Im part way to drunk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
