Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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