He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
