oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
