That's intense
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
