I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
