She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
