My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
only you would photoshop your dick
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
