We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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