if you like me you must not know who I am
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
