official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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