I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
