Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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