every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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